The music is doing it again. Days and weeks can go by and the music just plays, but then a day like today comes along, and every song is a reminder of something I can't remember. Tears spring up without the slightest clue as to why. The music does it. The melody, the chorus, the harmony just pierces the darkness and plucks at my heart strings. Songs about soldiers, about children, about love carry sadness in their words. Songs about parents, or pride, or loss bring with them tear drops.
No memory rises from the murky depths to explain my melancholy. What the hidden meaning in these songs is I do not know. But I do know that it breaks through my walls and defenses and finds whatever it is that is locked so deeply inside that I don't even know it exists. I wonder if it is safer that way, if not knowing is what keeps it alive inside me, because I know right now I would love to remove whatever it is that makes me feel this way.
I could turn off the music, but then I would be left with the silence of my mind, and that is far worse, because then I would not have the music to blame for my sadness. It would just be me and the memories I cannot remember but wish I could truly forget. The silence would only give me time to listen to my ghosts, feeling them around me but never seeing them. So I will take the music and whatever it may bring, rather than face the silence and what I know hides within.
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