Let Go

 Such a simple thing, touch. And yet it can fill you so completely. Hands on skin, lips to lips, body to body, so exotic and amazing. But it doesn’t have to be just so, it can be so much more. Like fingers entwined on a cool night as you walk along together, or a hug that lingers for just a moment more. These feelings are what get through to me. These are the moments that peel away my armor of self control. Piece by piece I let it fall away, giving in to emotions I’d kept dormant for so long.

 I could feel the walls crashing down in my soul, creating waves of joy and excitement as I held her hand in mine. I could hear the beating in my ears and feel the warmth in my chest as my long silent heart began to pulse anew. There is no awkwardness as we talk, no insecurities. We laugh and smile and enjoy each others’ company with no remorse or fear. The outside world is only a distant memory, completely separate from the place we are right at this moment. There is only us, and the path we walk along together.

 When the night is done and we hug goodbye, I can feel the pressure as we pull each other closer. The want to say more, the desire hanging in the air. We hold for a while, more than a moment but just short of eternity. And yet, even though I have let go of so much, surrendering myself to these feelings, there is still that shred of control still there, a single piece of armor still shining in the moonlight. And so, we smile sheepishly and say our goodnights and goodbyes, and we go our separate ways. I drive away, the feel of her arms around me and her head against my chest to comfort me as my mind wanders to what could have been, if only I had finally let go.