I am not willing to drag you back into the horrible relationship you managed to escape from. That would make me no better than the man I was that hurt you. That man is dead, as is that relationship. I refuse to allow myself to become that again.
That is part of the fight for us. I am fighting to make better habits, to do better, and to be better. Or myself, for the kids, and for you. I am fighting so that one day you might look at me and choose me, the me I become, to love.
I cannot make you love me, and I do not want to be settled for. I want to become the type of man you reach for instead of one you fall back on.
So I am not reaching for you, because I am not good enough in my own eyes. I am reaching for a better me. I am fighting for a better me, and in doing so I am fighting for a chance at a new us.
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