Wednesday, December 3, 2025

Not trying to win you back

I worry that, when I say I am not trying to win you back, that you hear I am no longer fighting for us. That could not be farther from the truth. 

I am not willing to drag you back into the horrible relationship you managed to escape from. That would make me no better than the man I was that hurt you. That man is dead, as is that relationship. I refuse to allow myself to become that again.

That is part of the fight for us. I am fighting to make better habits, to do better, and to be better. Or myself, for the kids, and for you. I am fighting so that one day you might look at me and choose me, the me I become, to love. 

I cannot make you love me, and I do not want to be settled for. I want to become the type of man you reach for instead of one you fall back on. 

So I am not reaching for you, because I am not good enough in my own eyes. I am reaching for a better me. I am fighting for a better me, and in doing so I am fighting for a chance at a new us.

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