calming the noise

There was a noise. It wasn't words, it wasn't anything I could articulate but it was just getting louder and louder and I knew I needed calm or comfort. Something to still the sound in my body. My first thought immediately was holding your hand in the bed. But I'm not stupid I knew that was too intimate, too much. So as it got louder and louder I thought laying in bed together would be enough for me and settle the sound to something manageable at least. but I know that was rude of me to ask. I should not rely on you. You do not need to be in the middle of this. You said you were done with our relationship and I need to respect that. I'm afraid I will have to keep coming to you to talk until I find a therapist. I have nothing else. That makes me feel worse because I am the source of so much of your pain and so much of your anxiety.