Pull

You draw people. You have a magnetism that pulls people to you. It is incredibly strong. I have seen it for years. I've felt it always. This need to be near you, ever closer to you. Others feel it too.

Now that we are where we are, it is maddening. I put things between us (tables, counters, chairs) because I feel the tug in my chest. My head swivels back to you again and again. Every time, without fail, I end up next to you. So close I could place a hand on your lower back or plant a kiss on your forehead. I try to pull away, to push against the draw. It is like wading in wet cement. It takes everything in me to keep that bit of distance, to not reach out. 

I do not know if this pull will last forever. Its been going on for decades and has only grown in strength. My only hope is that your repulsion of me will keep creating the space I need to keep away.

Maybe one day in the far future, with enough distance and time, I will no longer feel the pull.