Positive to Negative

 Something happened last night. There is turmoil in my home and it is affecting all members in different ways and at different speeds. A family member had a hard time and I was there to console them. I wished you had been there because everything they said you have said to me. It was all the feelings we've felt, only delayed because they were masking it.

We spoke for a time and I let them get all the feelings out. I think it was helpful and I was glad I could be present and available for them. But when I came back to you, you were upset about it. I was so confused. I thought you would be pleased. Finally! They listened and have started to deal with the issue instead of trying to ignore it! I know there were other things going on that had an effect as well. I just thought this would be a positive to balance out some of the negative going on, and yet it was added to the negative pile instead.

I was upset because I couldn't help, but I was so confused that this thing we had recently talked about and hoped for had become something you were angry over and even belittling at times. I do not know where to go from here. At times it feels like breathing is enough to anger you, and trying to talk about it makes it seemingly worse. I hope this is not what the future holds for us.

Regardless of where the paths lead, we will be walking them in parallel if not together, and I want to find a space between us where we can be open and honest and safe. That is what I am working toward.